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Lumbersexual vs Hipster - How to spot the difference?
The time honored debate. The philosophers have been debating it for generations. Plato, Socrates and Aristotle all went to great lengths to define the differences between a true lumbersexual and a devoted hipster. You might think that they are possibly one in the same but in fact they may be as different as apples and oranges. The true distinction between the two groups will be defined in this article and all the confusion will forever be resolved.
What is a Lumbersexual?
One would think that the outward appearance is the easiest way to spot a lumbersexual, this is where you would be wrong. The life of the lumbersexual focuses on the appearance. The goal is to appear manly, gruff and tough, like that of the modern lumberjack. (hence the name) The appearance of working with dirt and lumber is merely a facade, when in actuality the lumbersexual struggles with even the most common of masculine duties. The most universal lumbersexual uniform consists of the following items:
- Plaid flannel shirt. Usually of the buffalo plaid family and is most likely purchased online from LL Bean, Patagonia, Filson, Orvis or Woolrich.
- Beard. Facial hair is a must, but expect it to be very well maintained. It will most likely be covered in beard oil that will help to the man’s face silky smooth.
- Denim. Another item that is also craftily chosen is the raw selvedge denim jeans, most commonly.
- Work boots. A spot-free fresh pair of Red Wing Classic Moc boots, solely for aesthetics of course.
- Phone Case. They don't just have the typical case to cover their iPhone. They want something that will bring attention and compliments, and what better way to do that than with a wooden phone case. It is totally unique, fits their style, and will easily slide in and out of the pocket of their flannel shirt.
We know what the lumbersexual does not do, that is cut down lumber, auto repair, carpentry, plumbing or basically any other standard home maintenance project. Here are a few ways to spot the lumbersexual male in its natural habitat.
- Local Farm-to-table Restaurant. The farmer that provides the chickens to this place is a friend of a friend.
- Starbucks. Free wifi and sugary coffee seems very fitting for the rough and tough hombre.
- Craft Brewery. Weird pairings with maple syrup and bacon and the bitterness of the homegrown IPA.
- Axe Throwing. Perfect for Instagram postings that again portray the manliness. Yes it is a “thing”.
- Photography. Walking in nature, still in cell range, taking up close pictures of flowers and fallen trees.
- Dog Park. The fur baby needs to get out there and get some exercise.
What is a Hipster?
Like the lumbersexual, the hipster is intent on showing the world who they are by focusing on their outward appearance. The hipster fashion is somewhat similar to that of the lumbersexual but their message is somewhat different.
- Retro Eyeglasses. These will most likely be from 80’s era with a squared frame. Imagine either the glasses your uncle or your grandmother wore from said time period. The less flattering the better.
- Denim Jean. The tighter and darker the better, almost to the point that they just appear uncomfortable.
- Facial Hair. Varies from full on ZZ Top beard to a Salvador Dali pencil stache. Wide range of styles but definitely have some form of facial hair.
- Haircut. A pompadour cut or something very modern referred to only as “stylishly dishevelled” , a man bun is still acceptable but slowly fading away.
- Shoes. Most likely a grandfather’s brogue dress shoe that was purchased at a Goodwill or other thrift store.
- Shirt. Usually a flannel shirt, an old D.A.R.E. drug prevention t-shirt that was purchased from eBay or an old t-shirt from a thrift store.
Moving into a gentrified neighborhood is just the beginning for the budding hipster. The fixed gear bicycle and spending all time and funds on said bike is the next stop. When hipsters aren’t working on their artisanal butchery, beekeeping or taxidermy, we can find them out and about doing the following:
- Farmers Market. Buying freshly grown kale and supporting the local farmers.
- Record Store. You can’t find music that no one has ever heard if you don’t spend quality time in the last record store in town.
- Hole in the Wall Bar. This modern day Cheers is where lengthy amounts of down time will be spent.
- Obscure Art Installation. At a random warehouse or an alley behind a boutique store, the art will be abstract and be very meta...possibly a painting of someone painting.
- Random Concert. A crammed bar several hours away in a crowd filled with no more than 20 people, to hear Stinky Pete and the Rascal Farm Band that was formed only days previously.
Are the lines between the two groups more defined now? We’ve learned that buffalo plaids, beards and boots does not just one lumbersexual make. There are many similarities between the lumbersexual and the hipster. The lumbersexual is almost like a grown up hipster with a little more money to spend on craft beers, organic farm to table food and plaid flannels. The hipster is pretentious and completely caught up in vinyl from bands that no one has ever heard of.